I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
