There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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