new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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