hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
