the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
