I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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