So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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