thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize