"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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