I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
