Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
