Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
