i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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