Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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