he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
