and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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