the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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