All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize