I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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