he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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