Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can't special order awesome
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
