Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
