Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
