i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
