i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
