i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize