I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the condom got lost in my hair
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I understand Curling. That high.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
