The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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