Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
