omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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