I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
