What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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