My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize