you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
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I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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