All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
