she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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