God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
should my penis look like a turkey
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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