a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
