porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
