i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
