Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
