Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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