I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
