Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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