Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
