No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
