I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
