maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
