i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
