Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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