Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Mom said you looked used
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
