...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
