I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
