You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
