i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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