chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
