Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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