I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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