Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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