After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
