I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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