it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
