i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I could make wine with my vomit
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
