i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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