I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
