he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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